Carson ended up in bed with me in the middle of the night, as that is becoming routine these days. Since I sleep alone, I am usually okay with throwing him in bed with me, and cuddling with him-- as his little body fits perfectly with mine. But as this is becoming more regular, I am finding out more and more things about sleeping with a toddler who is all over the place. One thing I found out about myself is this: I don't and can't share a pillow. I need one all to myself, and Carson doesn't allow for that. Not a good combo. And also; toddlers kick in their sleep, and they kick hard. Also not good. So, we are trying to find a happy- medium. A little more room for each individual.
During the night, Carson woke up as the storm rolled in. He was frightened as he stumbled into my room, and stood by my bedside. He managed to mutter the words "I'm scared" and I immediately snuggled him, and tried to make him feel safe. We laid there and listened to the thunder, and watched as the lightening reflected through the windows.
When I finally managed to pry myself out of bed, I walked to our sliding door that overlooks our deck and backyard. There was standing water on the deck boards, which is an obvious indication that we had a good rain. That is something that I think we are all thankful for these days. I think my flowers were perking up a little extra high this morning, and if they danced--I think they would be doing a happy rain dance. Along with the grass. But I am almost thinking that it doesn't even stand a chance these days. Not even the rain will help it grow green....but we will see.
This week has seemed to be more crazy and busier than most. And with that being said, I am ready for it to be over because of that reason. Carl and I haven't really seen or talked to each other much this week, for the mere fact that we seem to be on the go all the time. So we are trying to find a happy medium. A good mix of both. A little bit busy, and little bit relaxing and enjoying our time together.
The one conversation Carl and I did manage to squeeze in un-interrupted, we talked about just that. How this week seems to be busy, and we don't have much time at home to just hang out. And then we both asked each other---would we have it any other way? What if we weren't busy--- then we would be "bored," and wish we were more busy. There is a lot of truth behind that. We are human after all, and we always seem to want what we don't have---in some way or another.
That was a little mental reminder to myself---to not take any day for granted. Find a happy-medium before things get too busy, and out of hand. Yes, we may be busy, and always on the go.....but just go with it. We are busy with our two wee lads, family and friends, and that is an amazing thing. We are surrounded by loved ones, and that's a blessing in itself.
That brings me to the next topic: our always seemingly disastrous house. Another happy-medium we are trying to find, and fall in love with. Our home is supposed to be show ready at all times right now, and most times---it is so far from that. There are toys strung throughout the house, clothes everywhere, dishes in the sink, stickers in places you can only imagine, and Carson's little knick-knacks hid in corners of the house. But that can also only mean one thing---our kids are happy, healthy, and love to play. If they weren't, we would long for them to be just that. So we will take the messy house, and go with it. Toys all over now has a new meaning, and vision in my head. It means there are children whom live within the home, and that brings joy to this world. Yes, a messy house is a joyful house.
I feel like the "happy-medium" ness will always be around. For one thing or another, we will always be battling to find a comfort zone to live within. And it's different for each and every person. Suitable to one's own needs and wants. Whether it be "us" time, kids, messes, work and play, time alone with your spouse, figuring out the difference between your dreams and reality, or just everyday life---I challenge you to find a happy-medium that you can live with that works best for you. But if you can make that dream become reality---go for it! And go big, because that's the only way to go about things.
I'm feeling tired as we near the end of this busy week, but feeling blessed beyond measures. We have a busy weekend in store, and I am excited for it! Bring it on :)